A Quarter Spring Farm Holiday Tale

Twas the night before Christmas and down in the holler,

the chicks all cooped up and the pigs in their squalor

Were dreaming of scraps, slops, and old whey,

when off in the distance came the glimpse of a sleigh


It soared through the icy air, high as a bird

But upon close inspection, it looked quite absurd

The reindeer and gifts didn’t confuse or throw me,

But Santa was gone, and the driver was Toby


He crashed by the barn, with a resounding clatter

And as he emerged, I asked, “What’s the matter?”

“Santa is wasted” he said with a frown

“And I’ve had to drive this sleigh all over town.”


“Santa started with Pappy, they shared his first bottle,

Santa gave him a skirt and they both went full throttle

His next stop was a shed way back in the woods,

where he brought the piney whackos all of their goods.


After that he was tipsy, and let me take over

(he had crashed the sleigh in a big field of clover)

We listened to Milli Vanilla, i think

While the big elf continued to drink and to drink


We circled the state, at least once or twice,

While Santa dropped off bars of Bandwagon Spice

He passed out, and I dropped him at the North Pole

To finish his deliveries and play the big role.”


“Great job!” I exclaimed as I shook his hand

“You’ve saved Christmas for kids all over the land.”

He dropped off my loot and returned to the sky

fortified by goat milk and Candy Roaster pie


This Farmhouse Christmas has sure been the best,

Now let’s all turn in for a long winter’s rest.


This Holiday scent is a mix of peppermint and clove.

Toby’s Sleigh Ride